· –Read in any order, any way you like - Griefabet has no rules, just like the experience of disappointment
- Loss comes in many forms - Griefabet is a comfort book for anyone living with loss
Change causes loss and grief. Then re-adjustment begins… very difficult.
Grief Tip #4: Change causes grief. “As it used to be” is altered.
Grief is lonely. No one can really understand what you are feeling.
Grief is a reaction to a loss that has affected our life.
New to GriefTimes are GriefTips!
Grief Tip #1 Grief is always about a loss; but not always about a death.
Stay tuned for more GriefTips!
You will know when your heart is telling you these days are not like they used to be. Whether it is a special get-together or a routine day, the chain of change will twist your heart. Feel this uncomfortableness and find a place that you can go to and bask in some solitary, quiet time to miss what you have lost. This is your griefspace. Go to it whenever it invites you - and - make it private and uninterruptable! No time limit!
And so, another set of Holiday music, gift-giving, laughter, food, and celebration are among us. Somehow, it feels differently if you are newly-living or still-living WITHOUT your loved one. In one second, life changed when they quit breathing.
How do we survive such a season full of giving, gratitude and cheer, when the hole in our heart is still gaping and so painful? Some things that might help you survive the pain:
Lean In to the pain. Set your timer and feel as miserable as you can for 5 minutes. Your heart will appreciate this schedule to allow it to beat it agony while missing your loved one.
It is okay to not listen to, sing, buy, give, or tolerate holiday songs. Turn it off on your radio or television, or technology toys, walk out of a store, do not eat in that restaurant, or buy you a pair of earmuffs. Life has changed.�
It must be lonesome to know you are dying.
· They are not contagious, visit them.
· Call ahead and arrange a time if they feel like it.
· Talk the truth.
· Visit about topics you normally would.
· Flowers and treats do not matter; time and caring do.
· Keep the visit short.
· Hug them and kiss them if they feel like it.
· Phone, write notes, and visit when you can.
· If they want to talk about death, listen. If they do not, that is okay. It is THEIR impending death.
· Write them notes and mail them.
Sympathy Note Ideas
Mail your card a few weeks after the death.
Share any specific memories of the person who died.
Use the deceased’s name.
Share a favorite thought or poem.
Express love, concern and caring for them.
Write a note to the survivor on their loved one’s birthday.
Be honest and say you cannot imagine how horrible they must feel.
Say simply: I am thinking of you.
If you have pictures of their loved one, send the family copies.
Communication matters. It is nice to be thought about.
Other thoughtful remembering times are: Memorial Day, Valentine’s Day, Holidays, Anniversaries, Death Date, Birth Date
Links
www.icebreakers.ws <http://www.icebreakers.ws>
“Call me if you need anything.”
“You look tired.”
“It is God’s will.”
“Things always work out for the best.”
“Life goes on.”
“You should ____________.”
“They would not want you to be sad.”
“He/she is better off.”
“I know how you feel.”
“It’s been a year now.”
“Move on.”
“Aren’t you over it yet?”
“You really need to be getting on with your life.”
“Call me if you need me.
“They aren’t hurting anymore.”
“What can I do to help you?”
“Be strong.”
“Your religion will take away your sadness.”
“You should get out more.”
“You better be sure and eat.”
“You don’t really mean that.”
“You just need some time.”
“You will get over this.”
“Time heals all wounds.”
“You should be doing better by now.”